Stop Fucking Around and Bank

Listen to me: Stop fucking around with your blog and make some fucking real cash. Absolute rule #1: The only way you will make money is if you have traffic. A blog with you and your mom looking at it makes no money.

Get in the game and promote your site socially with Facebook, Twitter, YouTube. This is hands on, RIGHT NOW direct traffic to your blog no questions asked. Many regular people just liked you have banked $1,000s/month just from social media.

I’m a search engine man.  You get your ass in gear and get your blog ranked high organically in Google, Yahoo, and Bing and your bank account will explode from all the direct deposits.  My bank probably wonders what the fuck is going on with my account.  Probably had to hire extra clerks just to count that shit up and make sure the checks were real.

Cry Baby: But I’m a Little Cry Baby and I Can’t Do It

Boo fucking hoo. If you can’t get the job done, go back to your sucky 9 to 5 while I sit my fat ass on the couch and drink lemonade all day. If you want to make money and live the good life, here’s exactly what you can do right now to make your blog popular and get cash.

This is no excuses shit so don’t send me lame emails with your lame excuses on why you can’t do this. This is for anybody.  If people with no education from Third World Countries can make $2,500 a month, then why the fuck can’t you?

The No Bullshit List to Driving Traffic and Cashing:

#1 Sign up at Hubpages (it’s free you cheapskate) and write 50 articles on your blog topic.  Just write them fucking over and over again like you’re going to be the one that single handedly makes that shit go out of style.  In every hub you write, link to your blog twice and then throw in a link to some of your other hub articles.  BTW, you get 60% of the ad page impressions so it’s like throwing money on top of money.  Highly effective for getting your blog up in the search engines.

If you want to play in the big boys league and save yourself hours of time, get the best article spinner (bar fucking none). What does an article spinner do? It remixes your articles so you don’t have to keep writing different articles over and over again. You make 1 article and you can turn it into 5-10 different articles. Post one on your blog. Post one on your Hubpages. Post one on another blog and so on.

Do you see the power of spinning articles yet? It saves you a lot of fucking time and gets you making money faster. More backlinks, better search engine rank, more articles, more ads, MORE FUCKING MONEY!

You don’t think people make serious money online: Check out this pale ass white guy.  He’s a fucking millionaire from stupid marketing shit on the web!  You’re telling me he’s any better than you?  Get real!

#2 If you’re still going all Cheapie Charlie on us with your free blog, get fucking real.  How many free blogs do you see out there raking in the dough?  Yeah, RafealsPetBlog.Blogspot.com looks real professional.  Give me a fucking break.  A domain name costs $9 damn dollars at DomainShoe.  Web hosting is $4/month with the iPage Plan discount or you can get the FatCow $56 Plan.  Come the fuck on with your cheap shit and get in the player’s club.

I hate it when people try to pinch every fucking penny.  You know the ones I’m talking about, sitting there driving around across town to save 2 cents on a gallon of gas.  Hey dumbfuck, if you just got the gas at the gas station by your house, you would have saved 30 minutes and the money it took to drive across town.

You notice something about people that won’t buy stuff that will help them?  They don’t make any money.  They just sit there with a bag of fucking coupons feeling like they won.  Won what?  If $100 product-X can make you $10,000, buy fucking product-X.  Damn poor people are stupid.

#3 Last – and this is black belt karate for some of you, I know, but last optimize your on page blog settings.  I can’t begin to tell you how precious your rankings are.  The difference between ranking #2 in Google and #5 in Google is tear jerkingly huge.  I’m talking 2 makes $10 a day and 5 makes $1 a day.

All things equal, this SEO plugin puts you ahead of your comp without any link building whatsoever. I didn’t think it would work but people were celebrating like they won the Super Bowl over it, so I had to fucking try it and son of a bitch if it didn’t work like a gem like 9 out of 10 times with my money blogs.

Anyways, the point is if you aren’t making money blogging, you’re doing something wrong. This shit is fucking cake.

Here’s an example of my typical day:

I get up and look at the computer to see how much money I’ve made.  The end.

I’m telling you poor saps that work at your job like sheep.  Stop getting on the treadmill and going to the slaughterhouse everyday.  Make a review blog about something people buy and make some real fucking money on the low.  Who said it has to be $10,000 a month?  What about just $500 a month?  Is that not decent cash for just some blog you throw a couple of posts on a week.

And God forbid you actually like what you write about.  Holy shit, jackpot.  I make a ton of money writing about boring stuff that I hate like women’s clothes, lamps, dog houses, and the like.  If you know about XBox games or some shit like that and made a serious blog reviewing it, damn that’s dreaming right there.

I suck at video games but you get my point here.  Don’t be a sheep your whole life.  Finally be that guy or that girl.  Don’t just go to work everyday to the job you hate and eat your fucking cheese sandwhich your mom made for you.  Instead, start a blog so you can quit your job in a year and go live on a beach or some other fairy tale.

NEwayz, if you don’t get it by now, you aren’t goint to.  Here’s some ads for ya.